…
Spoons have been so painfully low lately. Life is stressful but somehow I’m jerking off way more than usual. Sometimes I convince myself to do it because I know it will give me some good chemicals, and sometimes I do it because it’s the only way to incorporate exercise into my otherwise busy schedule. Stationary bike or a vigorous session of orgasms on my knees? Tough choice. I still have so many toys to review, but I’m noticing a theme when it comes to the toys I actually review. The newest “gets” are always fresh in my mind/body, so they tend to get documentation priority. Which is a slippery slope, really, because a lot of the toys I intend on reviewing are pretty fucking amazing and still get frequent use, but the novelty has worn off a little.
And when it comes to shiny, glittery tentacled fuckable art…it feels almost instinctive to write about it. I acquired a girthy piece of glass shaped like a dichroic tentacle through a r/sextoys sale…completely unopened and in pristine condition. I’ve always wanted a piece by Woozy aka Simply Elegant Glass, and I wouldn’t have cared even if it had been used because hey, boil, bleach, good to go. I’ve been really curious about textures lately, particularly after my squishy corn cob experiences, and wondered how it would feel to use a heavily textured dildo with more firmness.
Can’t really get much firmer than glass, and I love glass dildos. So it really checked off a lot of “wants” for me, from the rainbow and blue color scheme to the amber/purple suckers. I’ve always been a sucker myself for glass between my plug collection for my ears and my pipe collection for my pot. This is definitely a dildo I would want in any form, even if it was a fucking paperweight.
The handle, albeit much smaller than I had anticipated, is shaped perfectly for various grips…I can slip a thumb through it or just grab the whole thing since it’s molded into a loose coil. Plenty of options for thrusting, although after insertion I didn’t really do much of that. The combination of the dildo’s girth and the hard suckers was enough stimulation on its own. In fact, I found that moving the dildo around too much while inside me was a touch uncomfortable. Those suckers actually suck; their concave array opposed to some of Woozy’s more bubbly dildos gripped at my g-spot for dear life.
It felt sort of alien, inorganic and medical, which typically are all positives for me, but combined with the effect of glass it just squicked me. As long as I left the dildo inside while using a vibrator, it stayed put (probably because of the suckers) and I was able to orgasm relatively quickly. The suckers, like some of my other textured toys, were great little receptacles for coconut oil, but I found myself needing more lube than usual despite the slickness of the rest of the dildo.
It didn’t affect my grip of the handle, and I think I’ll probably use this dildo more with my partner than solo. I love roughing up my g-spot, but for some reason when I do it myself I’m less comfortable than having someone do it for me. I don’t really understand the psychology of that, since when I stimulate other folks’ g-spots I am not shy about it. Either way, this piece is absolutely visually and physically stunning, even if it takes some getting used to. Now that I know Woozy’s work is even more beautiful in person, I’ll be sure to pick up a few more pieces. So here it is, your moment of “zen.”