The Palimpsex

Category: review

Review of Tantus’s Echo Handle

geekery, relationships, review, sex toys, sexuality, storytelling

The Tantus Echo Handle is a manifold experience that begs lots of explanation on my part.  I’ve been putting off this review for several reasons.  One, because I’ve been really enjoying my repeated trials of the toy and have found new things I like about it during each use, two, because the overall process of acquiring this toy was a bit of a bear and I wanted to find a useful way to incorporate it into my blog.

Tantus Echo Handle

I bought the Echo Handle as a grab bag item which was part of an additional Tantus promotion on their website.  Word to the wise: follow Tantus’s social media, because they very frequently have awesome sales going on.  The “grab bag” option, though, is an ongoing deal Tantus offers where they use whatever leftover silicone from previous toy pours to make toys in random colors.  This provides less picky customers with an affordable product.  I thought I was one of those “less picky” customers.  I thought there was no possible color that a random color option could go wrong.  Clear, brown, red…a swirly mess resembling a tutti frutti jellybean, whatever, I thought I would be happy with it.  Especially when I  had seen the Echo Handle grab bag item my fellow Business of Blogging classmate received as part of our class review assignment.  It seemed as though several reviewers had gotten awesome color combinations in their grab bags (just Google “Echo Handle” and “grab bag” and you’ll see what I mean), so I was super hopeful for something awesome.

Coming Out Amy’s Echo Handle

What came in the mail was a paler version of the slime from Ghostbusters 2, almost fleshy but too translucent to convince myself it was a realistic dil like my other Tantus favorites, the Mikey O2 and the Vamp.  I was already a bit sour after Tantus didn’t honor my promotional discount I tried to use via Dangerous Lilly’s website after I hastily clicked “submit” on my order, despite their not shipping or fulfilling the order until a full two weeks later (and adding insult to injury, making the order ship later than Tantus’s usual delivery dates).   I didn’t get to take my Echo Handle on vacation, and when I got home, I returned to see a really basic colored dildo with imperfections galore: excess silicone that needed cutting at the base of the handle, weird smudges that looked like fingerprints where shine should have been, and the grossest part was a fleck of black mystery material embedded in the silicone itself.   After stewing over it on social media, I decided to be a bit more mature and give Tantus the credit they are due as a reputable and responsive company and contacted them regarding my disappointment with the order.  I figured that even if I didn’t get a refund, an exchange, or anything of the like, it would open up some sort of dialogue with the company regarding this outlier in grab bag quality.

Black Inclusion in Tantus Toy
Featuring the mystery fleck, ~2mm under the silicone surface.

Tantus’s customer service response was exemplary. With true professionalism and empathy, Kimberly (their Customer Service Representative) apologized for each complaint I offered (which I did so in much more constructive terms than the ranty tantrums provided above), and two weeks later I had a new Echo Handle shipped to me free of charge.  Kimberly promised Tantus would ensure they would use colors marbled from a vibrant pour, and I got a rich dark chocolate brown fading into black mixed with a pinkish red.  The thing looks like a cross between a truffle and some sort of wooden staff.  It is absolutely gorgeous and truly unique.  I’ve seen a lot of pinks and blues and greens and yellows, but never a color combination as nuanced as this.  Tantus really seemed to have put a lot of thought into this pour.  And for someone like me who is so obsessed with the aesthetics of sex toys, particularly when the Echo Handle is already such a visually unique item, the new colors I received complimented the shape of it perfectly.

Tantus Echo Handle

Now, onto the functionality and feel of it all.  The Echo Handle is a solid toy. Not solid as in firm, although the toy offers Tantus’s traditional firmness of the silicone you might find in the Vamp or other basic models, but solid as in a structurally sound, well thought out piece.  It has flop, which is sort of part and parcel to the physics of having an 11 inch long toy (7 inches insertable) molded with a grippable handle that allows you to whip it around like Ivy’s snake sword from Soulcalibur.  The texture of the handle is subtle but genius, tiny pits mixed with the actual divots molded for your fingers keep the handle from getting slippery with lube. It’s so deliberately brilliant, because think about it, if Tantus just made the handle matte in contrast to the rest of the Echo’s shine, it would still get slimy with lube and lose grip.  The pitted surface makes for a perfect texture combined with the finger moldings.

Handle of the Tantus Echo Handle

The space between the handle and the dildo itself is also relatively bendy, allowing me to reposition my usage without pushing the dildo into any uncomfortable angles while it’s already inside of me.  This flexibility is wonderful for my partner when he fucks me with it, as he can adjust his body for comfort while he penetrates me with the Echo Handle and it doesn’t make it pop out of me.   And the insertable part?  Oh my god.  I’ve never been a huge fan of textured dildos aside from a bent or bulged tip, but these repeated ridges are fucking glorious.  Every single thrust is a new opportunity for g-spot stimulation.  The girth combined with the ridges and generous length stimulates my vaginal opening…you know that feeling you get right as something’s being pushed inside you?  Right before you get to the pressure of the fullness?  Yeah, somehow the Echo gives you THAT sensation combined WITH the fullness and my brain can’t understand it.

It just feels delicious, and the simplicity of achieving that sensation with the handle makes this all so accessible.  It makes the thrusting and the grip so easy.  It makes me come almost too fast, and I love that my fingers don’t have to cramp up forming a death claw around a flimsy base on a short dildo. Cleanup is boil, bleach, top-rack dishwasher, towel dry, or swing around water droplets at your partner screaming “THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU” to terrify them, whatever.  The Echo Handle can also stand up on its own if you balance it verrrrry delicately and no strong winds blow by.  All in all I am really pleased with the Echo Handle’s design, and if you truly don’t care about the color (look deep into your heart, because I thought I was among that population once), the grab bag is a wonderful option to get your hands on a great toy at an unbeatable price point.

Review of The PicoBong Transformer

review, sex toys, sexuality, storytelling

I was ridiculously excited to receive the Pico Bong Transformer for review from my dear friend and Widener cohort, Carli Blau. It’s a versatile vibrator marketed as couples-friendly and gender neutral.  I dig the hell out of their manifesto and love what they are going for (and the artwork, too).  There are no overtly phallic shapes to it or one recommended way to use it. Your imagination is really the limit. This is all very ideal, but the structure and firmness of the toy doesn’t really allow for what one might envision it is capable of.  For example, one of PicoBong’s suggestions was twisting the toy twice and using it as a multipoint, “rabbit-style” vibrator, and although it looked great in theory, it was totally pinchy with the wrong angles of stimulation.

I love that it’s a completely different aesthetic than most of the couple’s/double-sided type toys I’m familiar with. Most double-sided toys these days either take on a phallic shape or have a g-spot/p-spot end ala the Nexus, Share, or Feeldoe, which is sometimes just too mashy on my bits or my kegels just don’t feel like being grabby. I’ve always liked the fantasy of a double-sided dildo where I could have some distance from my partner for a different view, and the stem length of the Transformer is perfect for this. The extended length is also great for different kinds of bodies and different positions. Its pliability is amazing…super flexible but holds its form easily.  I also love how great the Transformer is in addressing disabilities, between the graspable bulbs, the reach of the stem, and how it can bend.

PicoBong Transformer Chair

From stem to bulb, the graduation is a bit too severe for my liking. It’s fine on the insert, but on the removal from full insertion, my partner and I can definitely feel a slight snag. The bulb size is moderate which makes it great for people who aren’t fans of big butt stuff.  This toy doesn’t have a flared base, so if you have a greedy asshole, it could feasibly get all the way up there, but if that’s really a concern, bend the bottom part into an L-shape (I assure you, the stem is pretty stiff and it will more than likely make the toy anal-safe).  I knew this was going to be an anal toy, between the shape of each end and the vibrations. The vibrations are definitely buzzy, not deep, which is a minus for my clit stimulation. It definitely doesn’t resonate into the crura. But in the butt and against the prostate the vibrations and their various modes feel wonderful.

PicoBong Transformer in a Tree

If only we had a way to control the modes once they were in our butts! Jesus, Pico Bong, the BUTTONS! I’m glad Pico Bong has changed their models from yesteryears and taken the + and – out of the actual letters, but they seriously couldn’t raise them a little for visibility and tactile sake? They are almost impossible to see even in the brightest of light because of the toy’s neon yellow color (which I love, by the way). And they’re on the fucking bulb that’s supposed to go inside one of you, so you had better be certain what strength vibration or mode you like, otherwise you’re going to be taking it out to fiddle with some slimy, barely visible buttons (sorry, my sphincter is not that talented). Why didn’t they put them on the stem? Not to mention the mode has to get hit over and over until you cycle back to what you like, one of my least favorite things about some vibrators.

PicoBong Transformer Charging Port

The weight of the toy feels good: it’s not cheap feeling, but doesn’t hang out of your asshole like an Njoy wand, which normally I wouldn’t mind, except when you’re sharing it with someone, you want the thing to stay somewhat lifted. Which brings me to the sharing bit. Silicone makes this thing easy to clean, not boilable of course due to the mechanics inside, but considering I’ve designated this a “butts-only” toy for my primary partner and I, I think a mild bleach solution or antibacterial soap will do just fine. The charging port irks me a little. It’s a flimsy silicone flap and I get the feeling it will not last long. It’s also on one of the bulbs, not the stem, so whoever gets the end with the port has the extra risk of the flap nicking the inside of them if it flips up. It’s just more edges for bacteria to get in, really. I wish it was one of those tiny holes that the Jopen Vanity line has. The toy comes with a USB charger but no port to plug it into. But on the plus side, a one year warranty is always nice. All in all, I applaud Pico Bong for what they are trying to do. The Transformer is a frontrunner of creativity and is, for the most part, a structurally sound item. It doesn’t completely succeed in its aim, but it certainly sets the bar and I hope they continue to improve on the model as time and feedback progresses, because it is really is one of a kind.

Review of The L’amourose Prism V

geekery, review, sex toys, sexuality, storytelling

So I’ve had this L’amourose Prism V for over 3 months now.  I got a great deal on it from SheVibe, and after hearing that it had similar deep and resonant rumbling vibrations to the Jopen Vanity Vr6, I had to try it.  After all, there were days where I would use the Vr6’s G-spot stimulating end externally when I wanted broad clitoral stimulation.  For me, clitoral orgasms are a lot like Choco Liebniz cookies.  The first one is good, the second one is usually even better, and after that I just keep at it until I’ve fulfilled some ritualistic process.

What shocked me was how much I love the patterns the Prism V offers.  I have never been a “pattern person” (imagine my disappointment after buying the tech-heavy Minna Ola only to discover I just wanted to constantly squeeze it), but the buildup in the Prism’s first pattern and the randomness that teases me in its final pattern have brought me to some really unexpected orgasms.  And the best kind of clitoral orgasm for me is brought on by a vibration I can feel throughout the entire nether.  Wands tend to have too much strength and the heads are a little too broad, plus the concept that they vibrate so hard I can feel the wavelengths in my femoral artery kind of freaks me out.  Rounded, more nestled vibrations in a head about two to three fingers wide give just the right amount of pressure and distribution.  Which is something the Prism delivers with mystifying elegance.

Prism V Vibrator
The Sunset Red during my vacation sunset.

The bulbed curve of the G-spot head is not a perfectly smooth bulb…it has edges, not sharp ones though.  The underside of the bulb has just enough of a lip to remind my G-Spot that, along with the acute bend and virtually no give (this is not a squishy toy by any means), the Prism V is going to give me the rigorous stimulation I need for optimal penetrative orgasms.  And squirting.  Oh my god this is the ideal toy for squirting.  Whereas with the Vr6, I needed to pull it out right before I squirted because the insertable end blocked any release, the narrow stem of the Prism V allows me to rock the toy back and forth with an easily maneuverable handle (though some folks have said that the usability of the Rosa’s handle is better) and projectile squirt with the Prism still inside me.

So internal, external, the Prism V has been an incredible product.  It has also been great to use with my partners.  I love using it on my clit while another partner is penetrating me…the curve of the head and its angular proportions connecting to the handle keep it from being cumbersome during that process.  It just kind of curves nicely between bodies without getting in the way.  Both of my cunted-companions who swear by their Hitachis fell in love with my Prism V when I brought it over.  My one partner even said it was one of the best orgasms they have ever had.  ::Proceeds to brush my shoulders off::  In all seriousness, the L’amourose Prism V has been the total package for me.  It has taken everything I have liked in my previous toys and finally fit all the best qualities into one.

The aesthetics of this toy have been reviewed over and over again, and rightfully so.  It is a sculpted work, with a faceted base, flattened perfectly to let it stand on its own.  It arches into G-spot formation at the bulb, but with a really narrow stem where each underside protrudes in an ever so slightly platysmic nature.  Its a detail that has gives an organic illusion akin to something you’d see in Gaudi’s Sagrada Familia, and offers a unique contrast to the gem-like structure of the base.

Gaudi’s Sagrada Familia in Barcelona

What fascinates me even more are the color choices.  Diverging from typical pinks and purples with names like Sunset Red, Azure Blue, and Sky Blue, the matte finish of the Prism V pops these unusual hues in such a way they bring memories of the Crayola Crayons of my childhood.  The handle does have an “ar” engraved on both sides which can accrue gunk if you are not careful with cleaning.  The buttons are really easy for me to use as they light up upon pushing, the plus and minus symbols are slightly raised in texture as is the mode button in the middle.   I just hold the plus or push it in intervals to increase intensity and vice versa for the minus.   It has a similar locking mechanism as the Vr6, where I hold the plus and minus for three seconds to lock it and the same thing to unlock it.  This was particularly crucial in bringing the Prism V on vacation this week as I didn’t have to worry about it going off in my carry-on bag.

The charging port is at the base, and is a magnetic triple pronged dongle that has some good strength…it doesn’t flop off at the slightest repositioning the way the Minna Ola’s magnetic charger does.  The other end is a USB plug, so if you have  a laptop or a wall unit you’re good to go.  Cleaning is so easy with the matte silicone material.  With warm soapy water, things just come right off the Prism.   I’m ridiculously excited it comes with a warranty, because I have now found my new favorite.  Sorry for all the gushing.  Also the puns.

 

A regrettable purchase finally meets its end (now with butt puns)!

review, science!, sex toys, sexuality, storytelling

Good lord.  So I had this toy:

 

It’s a California Exotics Art Deco Jelly Butt Plug.  I am deliberately not linking to it.  I bought this toy in September 2008, the first week my employee discount ever went into effect at the adult store.  We hadn’t really started stocking much glass or silicone at this point, and I would like to blame my purchase on a combination of that, not “knowing any better,” and this plug being the closest thing to glass “aesthetics-wise.”  It was also beyond anything my ass could handle in my early butt play years, so it stayed unused for many moons (I liiiiive for ass puns) before I was able to use it comfortably.

Even now, it’s still not a toy that works well with my ass.  Its width stays too wide for far too long.  I’d rather have a plug with a brief moment of wide girth before it tapers back down to something tolerable that my butt can hold onto.  But I kept this plug, if for no other reason than it still looked really pretty, so long as you didn’t touch it or look at up close to realize it was jelly (it never had a chemical smell to it, and the texture, though rubbery, was not sticky or tacky at all).  As years went by, I had decreasing room for this plug in my arsenal, and considered throwing it away except that my one partner really liked it and insisted they didn’t care about the debatable material.  That was until last night, when I got home from my second partner’s burlesque competition at 4 am only to discover the plug in a tupperware container full of soapy water at the bottom of our shower with a post it note, like some sort of crime scene.  On the post it note was an apology:

“I washed this 5 TIMES and it still smells bad 🙁  Hope you made the best of your night.  Love, Partner.”   (I should mention I later confirmed my suspicions, that the “smell” was of anal descent, not the material itself.  Lilly has some good tips for ridding your butt toys of lingering odors, but this was beyond hope.)

Cackling, I left the aberration in its watery prison and forwarded a video of the hilarity to the third partner in our poly family, asking them what the fate of said plug should be:

Judge, Jury, and Executioner of Bad Butt Plugs
Sorry to the twitching recyclers: since we live in the middle of nowhere we have to burn most of our cardboard.

Knowing full well how jelly goes up in flames like a dried out Christmas tree, I was ready with camera in hand.  I had hoped for effects akin to Lilly torching that Screaming-O cock ring, and I was NOT disappointed.

So rest in peace, stinky jelly toy.  As Lao Tzu once said, “The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long.”  I’m pretty sure that was never meant to be applied to a CalExotics Art Deco butt plug, but it works.